One of the few highlights of my boring day job was getting to sit next to one of my good friends everyday. It was a completely loud, hilarious, fun, chatter-filled, un-PC, trouble making mess sitting next to her. We were given the evil eye many times by boring people walking by who thought we were either bimbos, bitches or simply weird. Hey, if your paisley pink trouser pocket lining matches the pattern of your shirt, you are asking for it. A guy at the office called us "twisted, but in a good way".
At the beginning of this week my dear friend was replaced by the dumb lady who came back from maternity leave (I'll refer to her as 'Naiberous'). I was right to dread her return. I have not enjoyed one moment sitting next to her. Firstly, I can't believe she's only 28. She acts like she's 38. Actually, I know a 38 year old who acts younger than she does. There are many people in the office her age and older who seem younger than her. She's not a cool mum either. She comes from a very traditional, no questions asked background. Meaning, she has been brought up to live her life according to what her culture dictated...early last century. She was brainwashed by her parents to believe that all she needs to do in life is marry a man of the same cultural background (doesn't matter if he isn't very nice) and have children. Now that she has accomplished that goal, she has to bring her children up in the same way that her parents have. She has no desire to learn or discover anything about her surroundings and the world. All she wants to do is be a good wife and mother. The child is doomed to be as stupid as her parents are. Plus, her baby is ugly. If you can't be cute as a baby, then what chance in hell do you have of being slightly better looking when you are older? I feel very sorry for the baby. Should stupid people even be allowed to breed? The only benefit I see in it is that there will be more people available to fill the mindless jobs that no one else wants to do and buy products that they won't need but people like me will sell to them. In prehistoric times, stupid people probably would have been eaten by dinosaurs as they did not have the skills to survive.
Only two days have passed since she's started sitting next to me and already bits of my soul have slowly died away (that was such an emo sentence). I wither away when I'm not surrounded by exciting, intelligent, driven people who are continuously seeking to learn and improve. It bewilders me that some people are not interested in learning. How can you work in EDUCATIONAL PUBLISHING and not have a care in the world about your brain? It almost makes me cry. I would choose wits over looks any day.
She gets along very well with the other desperate housewife in the office. I don't care about your friekin kids! It doesn't interest me at all what your kid did last night. Care factor ZERO. I want to hear about parties and gigs, hookups and breakups from the last night - not what was on reality TV! I will not have debates with you on who is a more suitable husband for Jessica Simpson! I want to hear about the lives of people I actually know, not people you read about in the New Weekly! Trash is ok once in awhile for fun, but not as a serious conversation every day! Why can't I stop punctuating sentences with exclamation marks! Because I'm so annoyed!