Wednesday, January 31, 2007



One of the best gig moments of MY LIFE just happened tonight. I was standing front row at the Muse concert. Matt stepped down from the stage and was a meter away from me. He knelt down in front of me and played the intro gituar solo of 'Plug in baby', which is one of my favourite gituar riffs of all time. He was biting his lip as he played it intensly. He looked into the crowd with a growling rock face. His blue eyes were very clear to me. He was wearing skinny white jeans and a white t-shirt. He was pretty much posed like this in front of me:

I loved it when Matt played on the piano and had the gituar slung around his body. I wish he could come play piano at my house. What an insanely talented musician.

I was never a major Muse fan until I blown away by their sunset performance at the Big Day Out on Sunday. There was a magical atmosphere in the audience. The crowd was singing along, but not in an annoying way, and dancing, but not roughly. People were really into it and excited. I think the vibes from the people around me is what infected me even more with the Muse bug. Muse played with such intensity, and I was drawn into Matt's voice. He closed his eyes and tilted his head as he sung in falsetto. He reminded me of Jeff Buckley.

Matt Bellamy and Muse shit all over Thom York and Radiohead. Muse are supposedly influenced by Radiohead and are often compared to them. But Thom York is an arrogant prick and Radiohead don't come close to producing the dramatic sound of Muse. I think they are quite different and shouldn't be compared anyway.

Muse continues to create an exciting variation on prog rock. Their past three albums sound completely different to another. I think 'Origin of Symmetry' is their most accessible, 'Absolution' is their heaviest, and 'Black Holes and Revelations' ventures into new territory with a more pop/funk sound. Electric beats in track 1, 'Take a Bow'. A bit of salsa on track 10, 'City of Delusion'; a bit of surf gituar Tarantino soundtrack-esque sound on track 11, 'Hoodoo'. Matt's vocals on 'Supermassive Black Hole' are rather...disco?

Monday, January 29, 2007

Lupe Fiasco

I met Lupe Fiasco on Friday night. I complimented him on the positive lyrics on his album and said that it was a refreshing change from everything else that is out there in hip hop. Then I gave him a card of a comic book and manga store in the city for him to check out, because I read of his love for that. He signed a CD sleeve for me and took a photo. I am estatic that I met one of my favourite musicians from last year and proud of my ability to schmooze. =)

Saturday, January 27, 2007


I can't help but feel nostalgic when I walk through Fitzroy sometimes. If I return to Melbourne after a few years, I'm sure I'll be overwhelmed with memories of my early 20s the moment I step foot on Brunswick St. Other than Vermont South (the suburb where I spent my childhood) no other place in Melbourne generates such strong feelings in me. I have never even lived in Fitzroy. I live in Brunswick, which I love but don't really socalize in.

Fitzroy seems like a community that has a concentration of young and creative people (although the really creative may disagree and label Fitzroy 'bohemian hip'). I would probably never get anything done or save any money if I lived in a fun sharehouse there, because I'd be eating out and drinking at the random bars every night.

I'd like to print out a map of Brunswick St and circle in red the parts that holds memories. When I pass the Night Cat I think of the debauchery and times I've mostly spent making fun of people dancing rather than dancing myself. Cross the road to Bar One Twenty and think of all the wrongness that happened there. The first night we went because it was the only venue still open at 3am. We silly danced to the cheesy 80s music playing and ignored the desperate older people around us. The second night we went to re-experience the fun 80s but instead was given the sad late 70s. The third night scared us off the place forever. It was a market packed with used by meat. We walked in, was approached for drugs, and rushed out two minutes later. My friend said that "he's never seen such a concentration of ugly people in his entire life". The fourth night we went to show a friend how bad it was. The bouncer wouldn't let us in because of my friend's torn jeans. I pointed out that the jeans cost $300 and that it was not fair that he let daggy people in who wore waist high stonewash jeans from 1991. I accused him of not letting us in because I was Asian and then walked away. I didn't really care that he refused to let us in. I just wanted to pick on him.

Next to Bar One Twenty is the home decoration store where I sat at the doorway and hassled people walking by and nearly passed out. The public debut of a glasses free me was at the Cape Lounge at my ex-housemate's funk gig. Walk past Marios and the cafe opposite The Evelyn and cringe at thinking of the two internet dates I had there. Bar Open! My favourite. From stalking Dylan Lewis, to watching obsucre arthouse movies in winter, and many times just hanging out there till closing time drinking. Walk up further to The Evelyn and think of all the bad gigs I've been to there. The Evelyn was the place where a clueless me used to go to check out whatever band was playing that night. The bands always turned out to be bad, with bad = emo or wannabe skater punk.

Across the road to Bimbos and remember all the cheap but yummy pizza's I ate there. The stongest memory was meeting my friend there after her return from the States after a year and a half. The bottle or two of red wine we drank made me violently throw up my lamb pizza later in the night. The walk from Johnston St to Bimbos reminds me of the time we saw the 1 meter tall lady with a 6ft tall boyfriend. Lucky for the man she was the size of the child, but legal.

Babka - massive corn beef sandwich anyone?

The pizza shop nearest to Johnston St - driving there at 5am after a night out in the city just to eat a souvaliki. I always get the lamb pizza. What about the alien van that was parked in front the shop one night.

Laundry - fat ho spotting, extreme karaoke, and staying up late on a weeknight being silly and making fun of my ex-housemate named Fanny who was wearing a nude coloured dress (a nude Fanny). Eating paella and churros dipped in chocolate sauce at the Spanish restaurant next door with twenty other people on the table. "Spanish guys are hot," stated my friend, who then turned around to see a Spanish waiter behind her.

The Spanish Club - seeing the Midnight Juggernauts and bumping into my friend and his girlfriend sitting outside having a smoke. I got caught up speaking to them for about half an hour.

I probably don't have as many memories of Fitzroy as more sociable people would, or people who live in the area. But nevertheless, it was my early 20s.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Homesick city girl

I was in the picturesque beach town of Lorne in the past two days for a work conference. We drove through the Great Ocean Road to get to Lorne. Why is the Great Ocean Road a tourist attraction? I don't see the appeal in a long and windy road.

Lorne was not your ordinary bogan country town. The people looked clean cut and the shopping street was modern and tidy. I enjoyed walking up the steep, tree lined streets and tried to figure out the type of people who lived in the homes we passed by. The architecture varied in style from impressively futuristic to typical wooden beach home, and from family holiday home to axe murder shack. We walked through the beach several times and resolved to return to Lorne for a proper holiday.


However by sunset, I began to freak out about how eerily quiet and dark it was. We were sitting in the garden of the resort, facing the beach and trees. I felt I was sure a ghoul or rapist/murderer was going to come out from behind the trees to scare me. I had to stop looking into the pitch black space. I fell incredibily homesick for my house, my bed, my bathroom, and the city lights. I was craving the sound of car horns and drunks arguing on the street. I love hearing people having lively conversations as they walk by my house after a big night out. I feel safer walking around the city at 2am in the morning than I do in the country and suburbs at 9pm. I get incredibily creeped out in the country and suburbs at night. My imagination always runs on overdrive.

I am lying on my own bed writing this and I have never felt more comfortable in my life. I love Melbourne. I love Brunswick. I love my bed!

Saturday, January 20, 2007

The boring couple

She wasn't very pretty but had a nice body. Her partner was a gorgeous Eurasian boy with shaggy brown hair. They both spoke in accents that were a combination of Malaysian and Australian, with a tinge of American. It was the confused accent that people develop when they have grown up in different parts of the world - "I need to speak more American when I'm in the States, more Australian when I'm Down Under, and like a Malaysian when I'm back home so people won't think I'm a wanker."

The boy was nervously chatty and inquisitive. The girl couldn't have been less interested in what he had to say. They must have hooked up very recently, because he was telling her about all the different places he's lived in around the world. She had nothing to say, nothing to ask. He told her about a cool statue he saw in Europe and the meaning of it. She bluntly said that she didn't know what the hell he was talking about. I found him interesting. I would have asked questions. All she was in the mood for was leaning her tired head against his shoulder and holding his arm like her life depended on it. She would lift her head off his shoulder when she wanted to say something, then readily nuzzle her head back onto his shoulder after talking. As soon as she'd do that, he'd find something random to talk about - probably spurred out of nervousness.

He asked if she was worried. She said she was a bit worried. She said that she was in fact jealous. She said she didn't like that his gal pal was at his house last night. She whined that she didn't like his gal pal. Oh no, she's not one of those insanely insecure girls who doesn't allow her guy to have any gal pals. Well of course she's insecure, her body language tells it all with the way she was gripping his arm tightly. She's a self centered, insecure, uninteresting, dumb bitch. Great! How did she manage to hook up with this cutie? She must have given him an extrodinary blow job an hour after they met at a party. I give their relationship one month.

Listening to: Soma FM - Secret Agent channel: Spy and surf music.
Band of the day: Stereophonic Space Sound Unlimited

Worst Xmas Decorations

Some arcade between Flinders St and Flinders Lane. Were wiggle Santas too expensive last Chistmas?


Friday, January 19, 2007

Kids are cheap

On Johnston St, Fitzroy (otherwise known as the Nojo/Sojo divide).

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Stupid people vs Animals

Barnyard animals are more valuable to society than stupid people. Barnyard animals and their by products can be eaten. You can't eat stupid people since cannibalism is illegal everywhere except maybe in Papua. Pets are more valuable too. My cat gives me warmth on cold nights and cheers me up when I'm in a bad mood (probably because I've been around stupid people all day). Pets give their owners an abundance of joy. Stupid people don't make me smile and coo. Unless it is a stupid hot guy, but that only lasts for a night and then I get bored. And for the guys and lesbians reading this, stupid hot girls are good too. If you are a fugly loser man who can't even pick up the town slut, find a stupid hot girl to hook up with. You have to convince her that you are coming into a big inheritance from your uncle in Scotland and explain that you are living in a crap house for the moment because you are "playing the stock market". She will be so intimidated by your mere mention of the stock market that she won't question you. Where do stupid hot girls work?

The lesson is - if you are stupid and ugly, get plastic surgery.

Listening to: Beastie Boys - Hello Nasty

Housewives and househusbands

Stay at home parents are great - as long as they are nurturing their kids to become PRODUCTIVE, CONTRIBUTING MEMBERS OF SOCIETY. If you aren't bothered to teach your kids how to read and add and subtract, then don't have kids. You had the kid, you have a responsibility to make sure they have a better chance in life than you did. If you aren't literate, then sit them in front of Sesame Street and Play School! Teach your kids how to set goals and achieve them so they know what drive is. Otherwise, congratulations on adding more lazy fuckwits to society.

(P.S) Teach them manners too. There is nothing worse than being a rude, lazy fuckwit. Imagine all the pushing and shoving that'll go on at KFC.

Stupid things Naiberous did today

1. She did not know how to adjust the border width on the binding machine. The ruler and indicator on the machine is so self explanatory that a blind downs syndrome person could use it without instruction.

2. She asked my friend how to record messages on the phone, despite the easy to follow, step by step instructions that someone who speaks English as a fourth language could understand.

3. She printed something and said it was only printing odd numbers. Then my friend pointed out that it printed double sided. She did not know how to change the print settings. I don't understand how she could have been in an office job before.

4. She worried too much about how to use a supplier's website that is so user friendly even my grandma (who hasn't touched a keyboard in her life and can't read English) could use it . She spent half an hour asking everyone how we could improve the website (because the supplier asked us for feedback), but it wasn't worth our time to even investigate it because we hardly use their website.

5. She baby talked on the phone to her year old daughter three times today. It's enough to make me turn emo.

Listening to: Tidy Kid - Frozen Flower Pot

Surrounded by desperate housewives

One of the few highlights of my boring day job was getting to sit next to one of my good friends everyday. It was a completely loud, hilarious, fun, chatter-filled, un-PC, trouble making mess sitting next to her. We were given the evil eye many times by boring people walking by who thought we were either bimbos, bitches or simply weird. Hey, if your paisley pink trouser pocket lining matches the pattern of your shirt, you are asking for it. A guy at the office called us "twisted, but in a good way".

At the beginning of this week my dear friend was replaced by the dumb lady who came back from maternity leave (I'll refer to her as 'Naiberous'). I was right to dread her return. I have not enjoyed one moment sitting next to her. Firstly, I can't believe she's only 28. She acts like she's 38. Actually, I know a 38 year old who acts younger than she does. There are many people in the office her age and older who seem younger than her. She's not a cool mum either. She comes from a very traditional, no questions asked background. Meaning, she has been brought up to live her life according to what her culture dictated...early last century. She was brainwashed by her parents to believe that all she needs to do in life is marry a man of the same cultural background (doesn't matter if he isn't very nice) and have children. Now that she has accomplished that goal, she has to bring her children up in the same way that her parents have. She has no desire to learn or discover anything about her surroundings and the world. All she wants to do is be a good wife and mother. The child is doomed to be as stupid as her parents are. Plus, her baby is ugly. If you can't be cute as a baby, then what chance in hell do you have of being slightly better looking when you are older? I feel very sorry for the baby. Should stupid people even be allowed to breed? The only benefit I see in it is that there will be more people available to fill the mindless jobs that no one else wants to do and buy products that they won't need but people like me will sell to them. In prehistoric times, stupid people probably would have been eaten by dinosaurs as they did not have the skills to survive.

Only two days have passed since she's started sitting next to me and already bits of my soul have slowly died away (that was such an emo sentence). I wither away when I'm not surrounded by exciting, intelligent, driven people who are continuously seeking to learn and improve. It bewilders me that some people are not interested in learning. How can you work in EDUCATIONAL PUBLISHING and not have a care in the world about your brain? It almost makes me cry. I would choose wits over looks any day.

She gets along very well with the other desperate housewife in the office. I don't care about your friekin kids! It doesn't interest me at all what your kid did last night. Care factor ZERO. I want to hear about parties and gigs, hookups and breakups from the last night - not what was on reality TV! I will not have debates with you on who is a more suitable husband for Jessica Simpson! I want to hear about the lives of people I actually know, not people you read about in the New Weekly! Trash is ok once in awhile for fun, but not as a serious conversation every day! Why can't I stop punctuating sentences with exclamation marks! Because I'm so annoyed!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The fat person’s mind


Bread, I want to eat a chewy slice of bread. The Vogel’s multigrain toast I ate in the morning had a good chewy consistency but multigrain bread always leaves an unpleasant aftertaste in my mouth.


I want to eat coconut. Something with coconut and chocolate. Maybe a coconut and chocolate flan? What about a brownie with shredded coconut?


I’m craving the burger pattie I made last week. It had lots of chopped onions in it and parsley. I think I will make one tonight. It was one of the best burgers I’ve had in my life.


I’m sooooo hungry.


Just finished a leftover lunch of salad (cucumber, tomato, Bulgarian feta and tuna in vinaigrette) with Turkish bread spread with a yogurt and cucumber dip. I am now satisfied for the moment. Maybe I’ll eat a mango in the afternoon.

My first TV interview

A few months ago I started volunteering as a production assistant on a community TV music show. The only skills I've been able to offer so far are research, admin and dealing with people.

I expressed my enthusiasm about Mountains in the Sky when I found out they were going to be on the show. I strongly suggested it would be a good idea for them to be interviewed because they were a pretty big deal in the Melbourne indie music scene. The producer suggested that I interview them and I said it would be cool, but I would have just been happy writing the interview questions for the hosts! I had one week to prepare for the interview. I listen to interviews all the time, but never really pay attention to the technique. I listened to as many interviews as I could that week to learn how a smooth interview goes and to get ideas for interview questions. Ever since I was a kid I always used to imagine myself conducting celebrity interviews and was conscious of asking unique and interesting questions. I don't know why I did it because I never had any desire to be an interviewer.

Anyway, on the day of the interview and I was so nervous that I was going to throw up my breakfast. I did as much research as I could about Mountains in the Sky and listened to their EP several times over. The last thing I wanted was to appear as a bimbo who asked stock standard questions. I'm not even pretty enough to be a credible bimbo. I'd probably be called stupid instead of a bimbo. At least the word bimbo infers that a girl has more looks than brains.

All the nerves disappeared the moment I sat on the couch with John from Mountains in the Sky. I faced the camera with confidence and introduced the band without missing a line. I asked the first question I had written down on my sheet below and from then on the interview flowed like a normal conversation, which I hoped it would. I managed to ask questions in response to his answers, rather than rigidly stick to the pre-prepared questions. I felt really good after the interview! John was nice enough to say that I asked good questions and the director also gave me positive feedback. I fumbled my words a few times and in hindsight, I think I asked a few stupid questions. I would like to watch the interview, but I think I'd squirm through it and be annoyed by things I could have done better. No matter how I feel after watching it, it was cool to have interviewed one of my favourite bands for my first interview. Next step - MTV.

Listening to: Mountains in the Sky - Accipio

Monday, January 8, 2007

Asian fetish creep

This is the man who goes to my local internet café nearly every evening. Because he always sits next to the window, I can see what he’s doing on the computer whenever I walk past. He, without fail, is webcam chatting with hot, twenty something Asian girls. He will firstly browse Asian internet dating sites and then picks the ones he will chat with for the night. He will have multiple webcam chat windows open, and people walking past have a full view of the girls he’s talking to. They look like they are from Asia and not a Western country (I can tell the difference between Asians from Asia and Asians from Western countries). He will have a few typing chat windows open too. The girls do the typical Asian chat thing and use animations in their chat dialogue. I wonder what they talk about. He looks like he’s over forty. Do they talk about the fiscal policy of Taiwan or the latest Nicholas Tse album and Hello Kitty toys?

He makes me sick because he obviously has a family. Wouldn’t anyone rather use the internet at home than in public, especially to chat with young girls. He probably lives far away from this internet café, so he won’t bump into anyone he knows.

Check out this creep at the internet café on Sydney Rd in Brunswick. It’s near the corner of Edward St, in between a Chiropractor and the Tom Phat restaurant, opposite the Cornish Arms.

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

On the set of a Bollywood film

Thanks to a friend in the crew, I had the opportunity to be an extra in Chak De! India, a Bollywood movie featuring it's biggest star, Shah Rukh Khan. His popularity in India is probably equal to that of The Beatles and Elvis in their heyday. Am I exaggerating? Maybe. Ok, bring his popularity down to perhaps an Oprah level. He's definitely a bigger star than Tom Cruise was pre- couch jumping days. The man below is Shah. You may recognize his face from Pepsi ads if you have ever visited India.

The film is about the Indian female hockey team competing in the women's world hockey championship. It was shot in Melbourne and Sydney.

The production company advertised for volunteer extras to be part of crowd scenes. Obviously Shah Rukh Khan was the main drawing card for most of the volunteers. We were told that Shah was going to be on set from 10am and that people will have the opportunity to take a photo with him once an hour. Even before this time, there were many extras already on set eager to meet Shah. Some fans brought gifts for him, including a cake. The hours went by with no sign of Shah. By 1pm people were getting agitated. A few people cried and argued with the crew, demanding to know where Shah was. He still did not turn up by the time I had to leave at 2pm. My friend later told me that he only turned up at about 6pm. He only flew into Melbourne at 7am that morning and was in his hotel room resting and learning his lines. Movie stars are never on time.

A bunch of girls and a couple of guys broke out in Bollywood dance in between shoots. Although, they came in costume, so this was obviously planned beforehand. Boo. Why don't people spontaneously dance in a group more often? It's suitable anywhere, anytime - especially at Saturday morning detention like in The Breakfast Club.

This is the "chasing after your friend to tell them that you met Shah Rukh Khan" move.

This is the "correcting a sprained neck" move.

This is the "wiping sweat off your forehead after chasing your friend" move.

This machismo in the flares and dyed flame red hair and was my favourite extra. If he wasn't discovered in the crowd that day and later cast as an Indian James Bond, then I have lost all faith in the movie business.

This was some of the hockey action being shot. I initially auditioned to be a hockey player, because they were looking for Asians to be part of the fictional Korean hockey team (you know, us Asians all look alike). However at the audition my friend (who looked like she was auditioning for Australia's Next Top Model) and I were scared off by the casting agent who said they were looking for "Olympic grade hockey players". Well, he was actually a really nice guy, it was just his words that stopped us from going through with the audition. Two months of year 8 hockey (and being in the reserves mostly) wouldn't have helped. The casting agent was an American guy named Josh who is a sports consultant on movies. He worked on a few major sports movies, including an NFL one. I can't remember if it was Jerry Macguire or The Longest Yard.

The tallest guy in the white shorts and sunnies is Josh. The short guy in the green cap standing on the left is the director. I think he might take style tips from the book "Che Guevara: How to dress like a dictator". He probably mistook the word 'dictator' for 'director'.

This was one of the fancy cameras they used.

Finally, there was a man in the crew who looked exactly like Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Carribean. The girls were on the verge of throwing their undies at him.

This was my favourite photo: