Thursday, December 21, 2006

Shane Warne's retirement

Today we will mourn the tragedy that is Shane Warne’s retirement. He has made a significant contribution to the careers of journalists, paparazzi and Advanced Hair centres around Australia. There will be a different Shane Warne memorial poster everyday for the next two years. Articles will be written about what Shane Warne is doing daily in his retirement and how the public are coping with this significant loss. There will be a national outcry. A barrage of letters of grief will be sent to the media over the next year. Nice timing Shane, will it be a coincidence that there will be an increase in suicides this Christmas period? Kids will leave their cricket bats to collect dust under their beds. They may become completely un-Australian and play basketball instead. What is Australia without the cricket industry? How do we define our nation now? Shane Warne was our king. If aliens were to land on Australia today, they would think Shane Warne was our ruler. It’s anarchy out there now. I’m afraid to leave the building.

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