Sunday, March 4, 2007

Nike Fallen Heroes Collection

80s and early 90s pop culture refrences on t-shirts are so 2004. Who was the genius at Nike who came up with the idea to design a sneaker collection based on celebrities who fell from cheesy grace in the early 90s - Pee Wee Herman, Vanilla Ice, MC Hammer and Milli Vanilli. I love the designer's attention to detail - the Pee Wee Herman at the cinema print on the insole, the shoelace dreadlocks on the Milli Vanilli shoe.

Pee Wee Herman

The colours of this shoe match his grey suit and red tie. Something feels wrong about NOT putting him on my list of the Worst 11 Celebrity Paedophiles.

How would you feel about standing on a picture of Pee Wee Herman jacking off in an adult theatre?

MC Hammer

The broken hammer on the outsole is so mean. Everytime I walk in these shoes I'd feel like I'm breaking a bit of the Hammer's soul. You can't touch that. The snake print on the Nike swoosh will make you feel like the original P-I-M-P that Hammer was. Wear these shoes with parachute pants and suspenders, and a long gold chain. No shirt underneath.

Vanilla Ice

This man was once the object of desire for powerful celebrities. He scored with Madonna and did a duet with Naomi Cambell.

He's a style icon for Vice kids around the world. Every second male scenester I see at gigs has hair and sunnies like him. Sorry, I'm too lazy to cut the text out of this picture I stole.

Milli Vanilli

Note that the shoelaces resemble their dreadlocks. The designer should have drawn a picture of a broken grammy on the shoe, rather than the broken hammer on the MC Hammer model.

Love list 4/3


Watch Lawn Dogs, Matchstick Men, and Confessions of a Dangerous Mind.


To make enough for 4 breakfasts (for lazy loners like me), mix together:

- 2 cups oats
- 1 cup cloudy apply juice
- 1 cup natural yoghurt
- 1 grated Granny Smith
- almond slithers
- sultanas
- cinnamon

Serve with blueberries or strawberries (whatever is on special). But as the Special K ad says, buy blueberries BECAUSE YOU'RE WORTH IT.